


Garnet Truth

by kiranosaurusrex



Category: Club SLAZY, Club SLAZY - Miura & Ise
Genre: Angst, Asphyxiation, M/M, Mentions of Death, Sexual intercourse is alluded to, mentions of abuse, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:19:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9471098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiranosaurusrex/pseuds/kiranosaurusrex
Summary: I call this the SLAZY angst fest."Deep finds out more about the powers of the Garnet and its real weight. He discovers truths about his friends at Club SLAZY that might turn his life upside down."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Milky_Etoile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milky_Etoile/gifts).



“You should treat the Garnet with more respect, Deep-san.” Q looked at Deep after the annual Club SLAZY spring cleaning. “It is a very valuable and important gem. And keeping it is the most important task here at this club. A task that is given to the Top Ace.”

“I know, I know. It gathers up sadness and all that. I know the drill.” Deep whined. “You don’t need to lecture me about it. I’m doing my job properly! I was joking about giving it away.”

“I’m just saying what’s on my mind right now.” Q swept some dust aside. “There is a reason why not all people desire to become the Top Ace. And there is a reason why some people might never be able to become the Top Ace. Some people are fragile. If too much sadness and too many tears accumulate inside of them, they won’t be able to take it. One day, the sadness will consume them. It will destroy them. The Garnet draws out the excess sadness and tears so that won’t happen. And it purifies them.”

He looked at the gem in Deep’s hand. “The Garnet does not only watch over all of the women who come to the club but also all of us who live here. It is the Top Ace’s, your duty to make sure that the Garnet will always have the power to do so. Unless you heart is ready and willing to take on that responsibility, the Garnet won’t shine.”

Q looked at his own hand. “Some people are fragile. They break. Some people might be able to pull themselves back together, to fix themselves or get fixed. Some might not be so lucky. They need a little help. So the Garnet must always shine. It cannot lose it’s light. That’s the one thing you have to make sure of, Deep. You mustn’t let it lose its light.”

“And how do I do that?” Deep asked. “Don’t I just take care of the lady sitting in the special seat and try to make her happy with my performance?”

“No. It’s more than that. It’s what’s in your heart. We believe in the boundlessness of your heart, Deep-san. The innocence, the goodness in it and the potential that lies within. You learned how to care for all the people here more than anyone else.” Q looked at the younger male.

Yes, this time for sure. He knew 8 had thought the same thing when they had accepted Jr, when they had kept the other from running away and leaving when Doo Bop had. When 8 had made his decision to support the other in all earnest. Q and Bloom had seen too many people go, had seen too many people getting swallowed up by the Garnet. The previous Top Aces, King and Will had both been people with pure hearts. Just like Deep. Maybe too pure. But Deep, Deep had gone through trials and tribulations and become stronger. He knew what pain and suffering was but he also knew what love and happiness meant.

Act had been someone who had understood duty and responsibility as did Zs and Bloom, who in addition, cared deeply about those around them and did whatever was in their power to help and support them. Deep had been raised by all of them. He had all of their strength to support him. This time for sure, it would be for a longer time.

“This place sure is restrictive sometimes. How troublesome.” Deep sighed.

“This place is a cage. Some of us, no, all of us, we will never be able to escape this place ever again. But you know, cages weren’t just built to keep people inside. They were also built to keep people safe. Either from what was in or outside of them.” Q let that hang in the air for a few moments. He fell silent, as if waiting for Deep to say anything else. Then he closed his eyes.

“Just make sure to give your thanks to the Garnet every night.” Q added finally. “That’s all.”

Deep frowned but accepted those words. He said his good night and went to his room. Once he was sitting on his bed, he looked at the gem in his hand.

“Well, thank you for doing what you do, I guess.” He set it down onto the nightstand and went to sleep. The soft, red glow from the Garnet basking him in a warm light.

A few nights later, Deep stumbled into his room, drunk off his ass. He’d tried not to drink as much anymore but it was difficult to break past habits. His body needed alcohol. And once he got going, it was hard to stop himself. It was thanks to the combined effort of End, Bloom and Q that he wasn’t completely passed out somewhere downstairs.

Without any other thought, he tossed the Garnet onto the nightstand and passed out.

Only to wake up in a cold sweat the next morning. Deep shivered and even the hangover that made his head throb seemed numbed by something else. A strong feeling of unease. He had never felt like this before. Had never felt that something was so inherently wrong.

His eyes fell onto something that was lying on the nightstand. He swallowed.

The Garnet had gone black.

What must not happen had happened. Under normal circumstances he would have laughed it off, would have told himself that there was probably a way to fix this. But he could feel that things would not get fixed easily. Something was happening. Something bad.

His fingers curled themselves around the Garnet and he held it close to his heart, as if trying to will it to shine again. At least it still felt warm. It hadn’t gone cold. And if he looked closely, there was a tiny, tiny red shimmering about it still. It was weak but it was there. Deep hoped it would be enough for the show. As long as it could still gather the tears and sadness in the audience’s heart, things would be okay. Somehow.

Deep started when he found X in front of his door.

“You’ve made your choice, haven’t you? Well, then you’ll have to live with the consequences. Until the Garnet returns to normal that is. I wonder if your heart will still be the same then.”

He didn’t know what X’s words meant then but he would find out later.

It wasn’t until after the show that things started to happen around Deep. The first thing he noticed was the tired look on Q’s face. It was a first. The other never ever looked tired. Not this tired at least. What Deep saw on Q’s face was the expression of a man who was tired of life. There were also slight tremors running through the other’s body. Or were they nervous twitches? It was hard to tell.

Deep, naturally worried about his friend, moved closer but stopped when someone else approached Q from the other side. It was Bloom.

For some reason that made Deep stop in his tracks and stay hidden in the shadows, unseen and unnoticed by the other two. He watched the scene unfold in front of him.

Q’s fingers were gripping his broom so tightly his knuckles were turning white. He was also talking to himself, muttering something over and over again. “I can do this. I will do this perfectly It will be the cleanest floor you have ever seen in your life. Nobody will ever be disappointed. I am not useless. I am perfect. I can-”

“Q! Snap out of it!” Bloom grabbed the other’s shoulders and made the Mystic face him and look him in the eyes. “Look at me. Remember. Where are you. Who are you. Who am I.”

For a moment, Q’s eyes went wide but then the other’s usual expression appeared on his face - well, almost, his eyes looked a little haunted still. “Bloom-san. Please pardon this unsightly thing you just had to witness. It won’t happen again.”

“Good.” Bloom sighed and then just pulled Q into a hug. And Q let him. “9. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re fine. Just the way you are.”

“Shut up, 8. Shut up.” Q’s hands grabbed hold of fistfuls of Bloom’s shirt and jacket, the broom falling from his grip. It clattered onto the ground but neither of them paid it any attention. Bloom did shut up then and the pair were engulfed by silence.

The two just leaned against each other, held each other like that for a moment before letting go again, before going their separate ways once more.

When Q passed him, Deep saw images flashing in front of his inner eye. Images, voices.

_”You’re a useless kid. Why aren’t you like your other siblings? Why are you not perfect like they are? Why can’t you do anything right?”_

_Sub-par. Imperfect. Useless._

_“No matter how much you blend in, no matter how much you look like everyone else, you will always be different. You will always be a blemish and a failure.”_

Deep let out a soft gasp when he re-emerged from the...memories? His eyes widened at that realization. Those had been Q’s memories. He’d been able to see it briefly. The image, the reflection of a slightly younger looking Q, dressed in plain clothes, his face hidden behind long bangs and a hat. A person who looked like he could blend in anywhere.

“Are you alright, Deep? Tonight’s show seems to have tired everyone out more than usual by the looks of it,” Bloom found Deep then and placed a comforting hand onto his shoulder.  
“Well, we all did our best, so it’s natural for all of us to be tired?” Deep tried to grin things off, to brush them off for now. He’d deal with them later. He’d deal with that new information, that new truth later. He couldn’t and wouldn’t tell Bloom about it. The other would only get worried. And Bloom already had more than enough to worry about.

When Bloom left him, Deep caught the tail end of yet another sequence of images.

He could see what looked a younger Q and a younger Bloom. They were wearing dirty and torn school uniforms which slowly but surely got soaked by the rain pouring down on them. It didn’t look like either of them cared about getting wet, though. Their faces were emotionless, their eyes devoid of any feelings or even life. The only thing that stood out were their clasped hands. They were holding onto each other’s hands so tightly, they almost drew blood.

_”To me you’re perfect just the way you are.”_

_“I wouldn’t know what to do if you were dead. So please stay alive.”_

At least that memory was heartwarming to Deep somehow. The previous one had been so dark and terrible. This at least seemed nice. To him, those two had always belonged together and to see that they had been together for even longer than he had thought was a good thing. Right?

As Deep wandered the halls of the Club, he would catch more bits and pieces - voices, images - but nothing as vivid as what he had seen earlier with Q.

The image of Graf’s seemingly glowing eyes in the dark and him stained in what had looked like blood had been rather unsettling. Or voices calling something dirty, calling someone’s blood dirty. Followed by what had sounded by fists hitting another human being.

_I wish I could just fly away. Fly up into the endless sky and be free of everything._

When he passed the bar, Deep thought for a moment of opening one of the bottles and drinking, drinking to drown out the voices and images but the weight of the Garnet in his pocket kept him away. He couldn’t and shouldn’t drink tonight. Who knows, it might make things worse. So he wandered. He wandered around the club restlessly, while everything else around him went quiet, while everyone around him went to sleep. Or at least disappeared into their rooms.

He was passing the Lazy changing rooms when he heard a sound from one of them and the door was open a tiny crack. Curiosity sparked, Deep moved over. It was Bloom’s door.

Deep burst into the room with a grin, “Hey, what are you doing... still...up…” The rest of the question died in his throat.

Deep stared at the scene in front of him. There were two people inside the room on the plush sofa. Neither of them was facing Deep directly but they were in each other’s plain view. And they were both very naked. There was no question as to what they had been up to. The scent of sex hung heavily inside the room and there was that certain glow around Q that people had after reaching an orgasm. The Mystic was all flushed cheeks and glassy eyes.

Bloom’s expression was one of pure bliss. The other seemed to be almost gone and unconscious, his eyes distant, his breathing ragged and shuddery coming in in gasps. His expression was that of someone who had almost had his mind blown by pleasure.

Q was straddling Bloom, hands still on his neck and slowly letting go, slowly letting the breath that supplied Bloom with the much needed oxygen back into the other’s body. His chest was heaving and he looked absolutely focused on every single one of his moves and actions. In any other situation Deep would have made a remark about how Q could still be perfectly focused on his task during the heights of passion but right now only one thing came to his mind.

“What are you doing? What if you killed him?” Deep finally found his voice again. “Q-chan?”

“Wouldn’t that be what he wants? I’m not giving him what he wants and yet I am. As you can see, he is still alive. Or rather, he has come back to live. So there is no need for you to worry.” Q sounded casual, aloof, as if he was talking to Deep about new props or the schedule for the show. Not like someone who was postcoital and climbing off his lover. “Who do you think I am? I always do things perfectly. There is no way I would put him in danger.”

“You could have-”

“Deep.” It was Bloom’s voice this time. “Enough.”

“But Bloom! He-”

Bloom sat up fluidly and pressed Q against himself, licking a trail down the other male’s neck and making him squirm and suck in his breath a little. There was a whispered, “we were sloppy, forgot to lock the door” from Bloom and Q folded a bit at that, whimpering. Then, throwing Deep a dark, kohl-lined look over Q’s shoulder, Bloom demanded, “Leave.”

Deep left immediately because Bloom’s eyes had looked dangerous then. The other had not allowed any other buts, any other retorts. It was the first time Deep had ever seen such an expression on the other’s face. Even as 8, while shrouded in the darkness surrounding the Mystics, the other’s expression had never once been that terrifying. Deep was discovering new sides to the people around him and he wasn’t sure whether he liked them.

Once he was out of the room, he was assaulted by another set of images and voices. A woman’s voice. A child’s voice. A woman’s hands around a child’s pale, slender neck, shaking and squeezing.

_”Why are you here? Why were you born into this world? I wish you would die!”_

_“Would you be happy if I died, mommy?”_

_“Yes! Yes, darling. If you died it would make me the happiest.”_

_“I want to make mommy happy but I am scared of dying. Mommy, please! It hurts!”_

_But I want her to be happy. I want her to be happy. Why is she only happy when I die? Why do I have to die for her to be happy? But it would make her happy._

_“Please stop hurting me.”_

_“Then please just die! Die already!”_

_Death is scary but she is scary, too. But I still love her. Should I love death, too? But no, death is scary. I don’t want to die. But I want her to be happy. I want her to smile at me. She only smiles at me when she says she wants me to die._

That had been Bloom, without a doubt. It was strange, almost wrong to hear the other talk about death with fear instead of with joy and yearning. This wasn’t the Bloom he knew. That earlier hadn’t been the Q and Bloom he had known, nor had they been the 8 and 9 he had known. He didn’t want to see all of this. He didn’t want to know. But he had no say in this matter.

Deep could only watch as the first cracks appeared in the other people around him as well and he was drowned in all of it. Suddenly he could see everything. See images from their minds which had been long forgotten.

The next door he passed was that of Cool Beans’ room. It too, came with a set of memories.

_They were poor. They could barely afford food. But when bad things happened, there would always be flowers. Beautiful, beautiful flowers._

_“Your brother has gone to a place far away.”_

_More flowers. Beautiful flowers. And tears._

_“Your sister has gone to be with your brother.”_

_All the flowers. Suffocating him._

_“Your mother went to be with your brother and sister.”_

_The flowers made him sick. Or maybe it was all the crying. Or the hunger. Or everything._

_“You’ll be the number one from now on. The number one, only one.”_

_And then he became the number one. The only one to survive. The only one left behind. It was only him and his father’s guitar. It had been all that had been left._

_“I really am the number one.”_

Deep felt tears in his eyes. If what he had just seen was true, then did Cool Bean’s hate for flowers and his strangely severe allergy stem from such a traumatic, sad past? Not just from the time when V.P. more or less cursed him with flowers. It also gave Cool Beans’ declaration of being the number one a whole different meaning. Deep wasn’t sure whether or not he’d be able to look at the other quite the same way ever again.

Maybe that was why Q was so nice to him? Although, did Q knew all of this?

He passed by a Mystic - one of the shorter ones and one - Deep blinked. That one had looked like V.P. Or had his mind just played tricks on him because he had just thought about the former Second Ace? The images that assaulted him the next moment - of a dull, grey and dirty world - told him that it must have been the real deal.

_”There is no beauty in this world. No elegance, no shine. There are no colours, there is no joy. Everything is soiled and dirty, stained and rotten.”_

Deep staggered a little bit. He decided to go back into the main room, the backstage area. At this time of the night, nobody else would be there. Maybe he could get a break.

He ran into X on his way there. Of course the other looked rather delighted upon seeing him like this. After all, this was the owner’s favourite treat. Despair, pain. After everything Deep had seen, he was no longer surprised as to why that was.

X looked at Deep. “Let me reward you for treating me to something this delicious. I shall tell you more about it.” He smirked. “Everyone in this club, they’re all people the outside world cast away. And when it did, they made a choice. They decided to be reborn. In exchange they had to discard their old lives and their old selves as well as their old world. They were willing to trade in the outside world for this. And as it is, as they are, they can never return to the outside world ever again. And for everything they lost, they gained something. And for everything they gained, they lost something. There always needs to be an equal trade.”

“Is that why so many of the guys here remember nothing of the outside world?” Deep pieced the information together. “If they want to be reborn, they need to lose their memories.”

“When you gain some, you lose some.” X smiled. “And sometimes memories might not be what they seem. Humans have this ability to warp memories, to mold them to their wills.” He licked his lips. “Some of those memories, filled with utmost despair, they are truly delicious.” With a low chuckle - a rather haunting sound - he walked off, leaving Deep to his own devices once more.

Deep shuddered. He’d never been very fond of X, feared him almost. He surely didn’t have good memories of that guy. But memories were a good keyword.

Not all of them had lost their memories from the outside world. Some of them were still normal. Or well, at least some of them. His brother and End for one. They still remembered what the outside world was like. Maybe Deep could get a break when he was closer to them.

He made his way to End’s room. End would be normal. The other hadn’t been with them at the Club for all that long. And he had been pretty open about his past. There couldn’t be anything too surprising for Deep to discover there. He was sure of that.

Of course, he was proven wrong once more.

_She would come back to him. He was sure of it. They had loved each other._

_He’d seen the car coming. Had seen it coming just when she had started to run towards him. They had cleared up their misunderstandings. They were going to get back together. They would be happy again. That’s why she had thrown away that card she had received in the mail. She said she didn’t need it anymore because she was no longer sad._

_The sounds of people shouting. The sounds of ambulances arriving. Everything had faded into the distance. He made his way home. And there he waited._

_He waited for her to come back. She had promised. She had promised that they would find love again. That after that initial end, there would be a new, better beginning. She would come. She always kept her promises after all. She would come back for him._

Tears slid down Deep’s cheeks. Even End. Even End had given up one of his memories to be here. To be free. He would never have thought that something like this had been behind the other’s stories about his past. About the lover he had lost. Was this what X had meant with people being able to warp memories of their past?

Deep looked down the hall to the stairs that led up to the Tori.

He wouldn’t climb up there. Not tonight. He was scared. Deep was scared of what he might find if he were to go close to his brother. After everything he had seen, he didn’t think he could take any more. Especially not something that could affect him directly. Deep didn’t want to know what he might have lost. After all, he had lost it. And there was no way of getting it back. And not knowing or realizing that you had lost something was better than knowing and yearning for it.

So he made his way back to his room. And inside, he pulled the Garnet out of his pocket again. It was heavy but he felt that this weight was more than justified. If this was what kept people sane, if this was what could bring happiness, then this weight was nothing.

The Garnet slowly but surely regained its light in Deep’s hands then, the darkness seemingly being sucked inside of it until it was gone. Letting out an audible sigh, Deep cradled the Garnet in his hands carefully and held it close. The light was so comforting. Reassuring. He vowed to never let it go out. He would keep this light shining no matter what.

Just like the club, the Garnet also was like a cage, trapping all of those dark memories inside of it, drowning them in all the tears and sadness so that they would never resurface again. It ensured that all the people who set foot inside the club would some way or other find happiness.

Happiness always came with a price of course. But it was only fair. If you wanted to gain something, you had to lose something. Such is life.

Deep knew he would also have to give something up.

He would not touch alcohol again. He would be responsible, he would live up to everyone’s expectations and become a good Top Ace. He couldn’t disappoint everyone who had supported him. And who had put all their trust and faith in him. Who had paid dearly to put him where he was now. Deep knew he owed them that much.

And in return, he would gain oblivion once more. He would forget about the truth. Forget everything he saw, would regain his pure, innocent heart. A heart big and strong enough to carry the weight of the Garnet.


End file.
